'Feminine' shouldn't be a sexist slur

I don’t like to champion feminism. It’s a very one-sided view of things.

Regardless, I’m going to rage a little. I’m sick of ‘feminine’ being so static. I’m sick of womens’ femininity being treated in the same way the United Kingdom treated Eastern Asia about one hundred and fifty years ago – back when it was ‘The Orient’.

To be honest, I’m sick of people cementing gender divides (most of which are culturally constructed) in the name of feminism.

I’m supposed to be writing an essay on ‘care ethics’ – an idea which in and of itself is not bad – using an article by a female academic as a case study. She makes mention of this idea that ‘until recently’ the few female voices in moral philosophy conformed to the masculine ideas. Then calls ‘care ethics’ a feminine way of thinking about ethics.

Of course, there was the token ‘I know I’m generalising and this isn’t true for everyone’ line. It’s the academic ‘no offense, but…’

Let me explain ‘care ethics’ in layman’s terms. You know how there’s the cultural idea that if a kid wants something, they can ask the lenient parent – who knows the other parent wont let the child have it – instead of the strict one? The lenient parent is using ‘care ethics’. Lenient Parent knows the rules of the strict parent, and bends them to fit the situation.

This is apparently feminine.

Yeah, the only feminine moral theory acknowledged in the article is directly dependent on masculine moral theories to provide rules for the feminine theory to bend. Thank you Miss Academic, for setting us back fifty years.

This feminine way of thinking should be acknowledged as a cultural construct. It is a by-product of growing up in a society that favours the stay-at-home mother. And it still does, believe me. The Simpsons is arguably the most popular television show of the last two decades, and (surprise!) the main mother figure never went to college and is a stay-at-home mum.

From a very young age, we have been told what is expected of us. Girls like pink. Ladies don’t swear. Girls play with dolls. Mummy wears lipstick. You need to wear a dress and heels to a wedding. You’re my little princess. You can’t go out alone at night, you’re a girl. Girls have long hair. Girls are the gentler sex. And they go on, and on, and on.

If you step outside of these expectations, you’re daring the world to deny you your femininity.

You know, I don’t really give a shit if a guy tries to cement these constructs. It’s not that big a deal, you rise above it. But if an educated woman does it, without even a hint of irony, something is really wrong.